How do you know you have the gift of singleness?

I wish that all were as I myself am [single]. But each one has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. (1 Corinthians 7:7)

Paul refers to singleness as a gift. I've always understood the "gift of singleness" to be a permanent thing, and I think that's how Paul talks about it here. So how do you know if you have it? I'm not sure you can know for sure. I've known people who thought they were going to be single, and were for many years, and then God brought someone into their life and they got married. On the other hand, I've known people with a desire for marriage, and God never seemed to bring the right person along.

But if you have the gift of singleness, probably the single life will come a little easier to you. "His commands are his enablings." If God calls you to this kind of life, then he will give you the grace to do it. This doesn't mean there won't be challenges, but if you have the gift of singleness, then it shouldn't be a crushing burden.

And it's also important to remember that there's also a difference between a gift and a duty. Some people have the gift of evangelism - it comes easier to them. People respond more readily when they share their faith. They see lots of fruit. But the rest of us are still called to do evangelism, even if it's not our gift. It might be more difficult and scary, but something we need to do nonetheless.

So it is with singleness. Some of you may not have the gift, but you may be single today. And therefore, you have the duty. You have the duty to "seek first the kingdom of God" and live out God's call in your life right now.

There is no weakness in being single. And there's no weakness in wanting to be married, either. But there is a weakness in wanting to be married so much that you devalue what God has for you today. You may miss out on the blessings and opportunities he has for you now, by being so preoccupied with a time in the future when you will be married.

I'll leave you with this bit from Paige Benton Brown. When she wrote this, she had been single and in campus ministry for ten years.

Every problem is a theological problem, and the habitual discontent of us singles is no exception…I long to be married. My younger sister got married two months ago. She now has an adoring husband, a beautiful home, a whirlpool bathtub, and all-new Corningware. Is God being any less good to me than he is to her? The answer is a resounding NO. God will not be less good to me because God cannot be less good to me. It is a cosmic impossibility for God to shortchange any of his children…

Accepting singleness, whether temporary or permanent, does not hinge on speculation about answers God has not given to our list of whys, but rather on celebration of the life he has given. I am not single because I am too spiritually unstable to possibly deserve a husband, nor because I am too spiritually mature to possibly need one. I am single because God is so abundantly good to me, because this is his best for me. It is a cosmic impossibility that anything could be better for me right now than being single. The psalmists confirm that I should not want, I shall not want, because no good thing will God withhold from me. (Read the whole article here)