Short Review: Practicing Affirmation

Practicing Affirmation: God-Centered Praise of Those Who Are Not God by Sam Crabtree

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

A helpful book on the ministry of affirmation (or encouragement). The premise is this: every good thing comes from God. When we see a good thing, we ought to affirm it. When we don't, we actually pass over something good God is doing, therefore demeaning or undervaluing his work in the world or in other people. So this is a vertical issue (how we praise God), but it's also a horizontal issue (there are tremendous benefits in affirming other people).

To the first point: we need to affirm good things God is doing in others - this a helpful corrective to cynics (who see only negatives), and to the "high truth" people (who think all encouragement is fluff). To the second point: affirming others helps to build up other people. Commending what is commendable tends to reinforce good behavior in others. It helps encourage folks when they make strides in their walk with the Lord. It generally makes you a more pleasant person to be around (contra the quarrelsome person who is like Chinese-water torture). And it is a great way to gain hearing with people (so that you have the opportunity to say hard and corrective things at other times).

Perhaps the most practical lesson in the book is Crabtree's mention of the "Affirmation Ratio." Basically he argues that there is a proportionality that needs to happen with our words - we must affirm much more than we correct. This helps us see well, believe the best, have open eyes to God's work in others, and create space to be heard when we do correct. This is especially important in marriages and with children. How many relationships are in crisis because communication is primarily negative (see Proverbs for warnings about this)!

I gave this book three stars, not because the content was bad, but because it was highly repetitive. It easily could have been boiled down to a long article (20 pages or so). Chapters 2-3 are the most helpful, and could give you the essentials of the whole book. John Piper's Foreword is also worth reading.

Read this if you are a parent.

View all my reviews